Feeding children can be challenging, especially when picky eating, mealtime battles, and food refusals come into play. One effective and widely respected approach that offers a solution is Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility in Feeding (DOR). This approach, developed by registered dietitian and family therapist Ellyn Satter, provides a framework to create peaceful, enjoyable mealtimes that support healthy eating habits.
Here’s what you need to know about the Division of Responsibility and how it can help transform your family’s approach to mealtime.
What is the Division of Responsibility?
The Division of Responsibility (DOR) is a feeding approach that outlines clear roles for both parents and children when it comes to eating. Satter’s method emphasizes a healthy balance of control and freedom, with parents and children each having distinct responsibilities:
- Parents’ Responsibilities
- What: Decide what foods are offered at mealtimes. Parents are responsible for choosing and preparing a variety of nutritious foods for each meal or snack.
- When: Set regular times for meals and snacks to create a predictable eating schedule, allowing kids to develop a natural sense of hunger and satiety.
- Where: Provide a comfortable, distraction-free environment where meals take place, whether it’s at the family table or another designated eating space.
- Children’s Responsibilities
- How Much: Children get to decide how much they want to eat from the foods offered at each meal.
- Whether: Children can choose whether or not they want to eat at all. This allows them to honor their natural hunger and fullness cues without feeling pressured.
Why the Division of Responsibility Works
The Division of Responsibility (DOR) framework respects a child’s natural ability to self-regulate. By giving children control over their eating choices within a structured mealtime environment, they learn to listen to their body’s hunger and fullness signals and feel secure about eating without pressure. Over time, this can help prevent food struggles, reduce picky eating, and foster a healthier, more balanced relationship with food.
How to Implement the Division of Responsibility
- Focus on a Balanced Meal, Not on Coaxing or Pressuring
When preparing meals, offer a variety of foods, including at least one or two items you know your child likes. Resist the urge to pressure them to eat certain foods or finish their plate. Instead, sit back, model healthy eating behaviors, and let them choose from what’s available. - Offer Regular Meals and Snacks
A consistent eating schedule helps children recognize their own hunger and fullness cues. If they skip a meal or eat very little, trust that they’ll make up for it at the next eating opportunity. - Create a Positive Mealtime Environment
Serve meals in a pleasant, calm setting, free from distractions like screens. Make mealtime about more than just food by engaging in conversation, sharing stories, or connecting as a family. This way, children learn that mealtime is about connection as much as nutrition. - Stay Neutral—No Praise or Punishment
If your child eats everything or nothing at all, stay neutral. Avoid bribing, rewarding, or coaxing. By staying consistent and non-reactive, you signal that food choices are their responsibility. Over time, children will eat according to their hunger and satisfaction without outside influence. - Trust the Process
The Division of Responsibility is all about building trust—trust in yourself as the provider and trust in your child to self-regulate. It can take time, but many parents find that, over weeks or months, their children naturally begin to try new foods, regulate their portions, and become more confident eaters.
Addressing Common Challenges with DOR
- What if My Child Doesn’t Eat Anything?
If your child chooses not to eat a meal, trust that they’ll make up for it at the next one. Remember that children’s appetites vary day-to-day. Offer a balanced meal at the next scheduled time and avoid offering extra snacks between meals if they skip. - What if They Only Eat One Food on the Plate?
It’s common for children to fixate on one food. Continue to offer a variety of foods without focusing on their specific choices. If they only eat the bread one day and ignore the vegetables, it’s okay. Over time, they’ll likely start exploring other foods when they feel ready. - What if They Only Want Sugary Foods?
Parents decide what foods are offered, so it’s okay to offer sugary or treat foods on occasion. When treats are served, keep the atmosphere neutral. By including a variety of foods and sometimes offering treats alongside healthier options, you help normalize all foods, reducing the chance of “forbidden food” fixation.
Benefits of the Division of Responsibility
- Reduces Mealtime Stress
By clearly defining who is responsible for what, DOR takes the stress out of mealtimes for both parents and children. Kids no longer feel pressured to eat a certain way, and parents don’t have to play the role of food police. - Encourages Self-Regulation
Children are born with the ability to self-regulate, meaning they eat according to their hunger and fullness cues. DOR protects this ability, supporting a healthier, more intuitive approach to eating as they grow. - Supports a Positive Relationship with Food
Because DOR promotes freedom around food, children learn to see all foods as neutral—no more “good” or “bad” foods. This helps prevent restrictive or excessive eating behaviors down the line and fosters a balanced, non-emotional relationship with eating. - Gradual Acceptance of New Foods
By offering a variety of foods without pressure, parents help their children develop familiarity with new foods. Even if they don’t eat them right away, regular exposure increases the likelihood of trying new foods over time.
Conclusion: Embracing the Division of Responsibility for Healthier Mealtimes
Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility offers parents a clear, compassionate roadmap for feeding children. By defining specific roles, DOR empowers children to listen to their bodies and fosters a sense of independence around eating. For parents, it removes the stress and pressure of “getting kids to eat” and lets them focus on providing balanced, enjoyable meals.
Implementing the Division of Responsibility may require patience and a shift in mindset, but the long-term benefits for both parent and child are well worth it. By fostering trust, reducing mealtime battles, and helping children build a positive relationship with food, DOR is a valuable approach to raising confident, healthy eaters.
If you would like help for your child’s eating habits, please make an appointment with our Dietitian. If your child has NDIS funding you would like to use, please request a service agreement here.
